Irma's Journey

Hi my name is Irma Shelton.  I was diagnosed with a grade 4 GBM Brain Tumour on April the 5th, 2019. The past year has not been easy, but with the support and love from my family and friends, I’ve been able to maintain hope and strength throughout my journey.

My diagnosis was such an unexpected shock that for a month I was in total denial. My mindset turned to “NO, this is NOT happening to me, I was just working one day prior and functioning fine”.

Working in a hospital, Monash in Clayton, made this harder to accept, as I was now being admitted here as an inpatient for 5 weeks following my MRI.

The next step was a biopsy, and the wait was a nightmare. Chemo and radiation 5 days a week was now my new reality.

I didn’t want to talk about my tumour because I wasn’t ready to accept it. Talking about it would make it real and I was still holding on to my old reality.

My surroundings stood still and my mind is silent as I lay there watching the ceiling fan going around and around.

My world turned upside down, what the hell happened in the last 8 months?

Often, I think, if there is a God, why is he doing this? My poor family, trying to cope with my new reality, that is now a part of theirs too.

It is easy to get lost in your thoughts and at times I feel like a burden, stuck in a wheelchair or bed, and totally dependent on another person, but I am so blessed and fortunate to have such supportive and loving people in my life.

Through the challenges you learn to build back a positive perspective, day by day. I hope my horrific experiences, reminds us all to practice gratitude.

I am so grateful to Trevor, my carers and my family for being here for me. Where would I be without your care and compassion.

Having a pet, my cat Leo, was extremely helpful to my mental state too. It’s comforting when she sleeps curled up beside me for hours.

Whilst it feels like not a lot has happened over the past year, I have certainly done a lot of living and experiencing. I’ve had to find a new way to enjoy doing the things that I love.

How I manage my mindset has changed, with the help of talking with good friends. I have always portrayed myself as being in a battle with cancer, me Vs it, with me being the winner as I reach 65 years of age.  This approach has changed somewhat, as I now recognise cancer to be a part of me, and as part of my life.  Rather than fighting against cancer, which is inflammatory and fear driven, I accept it and live with it.

In that instance, I learnt to thrive with the adversity, as opposed to living against the adversity.  For me, it has worked to quell some of the anxiety and heat in my body.  Internal harmony, as opposed to war.  It has also seen me take the focus away from me living ‘with cancer’ and allowed me to just focus on ‘living’.  Now let me be clear, as I explain this, life hasn’t all of a sudden become a walk through a rose garden, but it is easier for me. 

Regardless of how I try to manage my mindset, living with cancer can really be a roller coaster ride.  Through December and January, the burden of cancer became overwhelming.  This was attributed to several factors. At the time, I found that I was really feeling run down.  I had very little energy and felt spent.  In the preceding months I had dropped 20kg. Sure, I had been busy, but it felt concerning. Blood results suggested that my immune system (white blood cells) were at an all-time low. I would have been hospitalised, brain tumour is killer!  In their own right, none of these things are an indication of how I am travelling with cancer, however combined, they had me really worried and on a low.

So the high came in May, when I got my results and learnt that my cancer has stabilised!! Best Birthday present ever! Wooo hooo!!  When told, I explained to my doctor it was the first time that I had received positive news. It has been a long time coming, but worth the wait.  All I need now, is to receive similar or better news from my next MRI results in 3 months time.  Bring it on, I say!!

Take care

Irma xoxo

Irma and her treating physicians

Irma and her family and friends helping raise awareness and funds for brain cancer